From the pain and tension of a prison visit to the magical realism of a family gathering haunted by impending tragedy, the winners of our November Writing Competition demonstrated the power of the short story in exploring complex and challenging topics. Read the winners and finalists below, along with commentary from writer and editor Guest Judge Carolyn Kuebler.
WINNER:
‘A Visit to Bluehaven Women’s Correctional Facility On a Particularly Tepid Morning (19-02-23)’ by firzahapsari (Indonesia)
Read firzahapsari’s winning entry, or log in/sign up to read the piece on our site (for writers aged 13-19)!
“A Visit to Bluehaven Women’s Correctional Facility…” immediately brings the reader into the visiting room of a prison and into the characters’ painful predicament. The story reveals the mother’s pain and desire to be a good parent to her three children, even as she unfairly foists the bulk of the responsibility onto her eldest child, Dee, the narrator. We learn about both of their struggles to get an education, to earn a living, to keep each other safe, and to maintain their dignity, all in this single scene, nearly all of it through dialogue. The dialogue conveys a depth of backstory without feeling forced. As the reader’s sympathies are drawn from Dee to the mother and back again, we’re given a picture of the dance of hope and despair that will inevitably repeat itself as these two loving family members struggle with forces both inside and outside of themselves. What begins in a simple statement—“You’re still sniffling”—moves into an exchange of accusations, and finally to a hopeful proclamation of intention and love. “I knew how to take pain, but I was never taught how to handle fragility,” the narrator says, and in that moment I felt the dynamic shift toward self-understanding and hope. This is a simply and beautifully rendered story of deep sorrow.
RUNNER-UP:
‘Chuseok Dinner’ by Yuvin (South Korea)
Read Yuvin’s entry, or log in/sign up to read the piece on our site (for writers aged 13-19)!
“Chuseok Dinner” quickly establishes character, setting, and central themes in the opening sentences. Here’s an adolescent narrator, full of ambivalence and even dread as they approach a once-loved annual celebration with extended family. A vivid, loving scene from childhood lets the reader know what stands to be lost, just as we also learn that the narrator’s mother has cancer. The writing is grounded in physical description, but then a new sense—that of hearing, of music—signals a shift into something much more ethereal. The narrator describes this spectral scene with the same immediacy and detail as before, but only now they seem free to ask the questions they may not have been able to ask of the living. The short, inquisitive sentences side by side with longer, more descriptive ones give the story momentum, and the steadiness of the narrator’s voice brings believability to what would otherwise seem purely fantastic. Now, instead of just dread, there’s some sense of mystery and hope in the prospect of joining the world of adults, and the narrator gains some insight to help them face inevitable loss. I was surprised by this turn into the spectral realm, and yet it felt perfectly in keeping with the story’s original intention. Finally, the conclusion brings us back to the original scene, with a younger child looking to the narrator for answers now. Overall, it’s a vivid and haunting story of transformation.
PEER REVIEW WINNER:
Review of ‘In Brain, On Paper’ by makayla.writes (United States)
Log in/sign up to see the winning peer review on our site (for writers aged 13-19)!
This review offers a personal response, helpful suggestions for future drafts, and encouragement—just what a writer needs to do their best work! This reviewer’s comments on specific sentences and the emotions they evoke will let the writer know whether their intentions are being met or if, instead, they need to shift their prose to evoke something different. These comments also reveal how the images convey more than their literal meaning and may help the writer identify their own strengths and how to build on them. I think the requests for more specifics in the middle of the story will be especially helpful to the writer as they develop their work. This reviewer clearly cares about the story and about being a good literary citizen, both of which are essential to the peer review process. Well done!
FINALISTS:
Log in/sign up to read the pieces on our site (for writers aged 13-19)!
Pieces:
‘To the North’ by anny_ (China)
‘Growing Pains’ by GertyGerty (Australia)
‘Being Born to Die’ by kazz (Canada)
‘Melody Between Masks’ by archivosdbeatriz (Dominican Republic)
Peer review:
Review of ‘Unpacking Boxes’ by Estelle Marrie (India)
