The results are in! Congratulations to the winners of our TV Pilot Competition. Read on to find out what Guest Judge and TV Literary Agent Ryan Ly had to say about the top entries.
BEST ENTRY
Finn Jean and the Framed by lulumelon
This script was concise, complex, interesting, emotional and funny all at the same time. The story had a clear beginning, middle and end, and each character had a distinct personality, both of which are no small feat given the page/time constraints! The dialogue was quick and witty, and I really appreciated the relationship between the bandmates. The story was filled with pathos, too, especially stemming from Finn’s egotistical delusions. The montage of Jasper and Finn was both heartbreaking and hilarious, and offered some classic humor, which added so much character to the script. Lastly, I appreciated the satire. There have been many stories about rock bands, but this one felt fresh and authentic. The only critique I would offer is the end—I wanted the story to leave off with Finn instead of Jasper, as he was the character I was most invested in. Overall, this script was very impressive!
RUNNER UP
It’s a Mystery by Veronica Darnell
This script was sweet and whimsical. I loved the innocence of it, and I think that that is a difficult thing to capture without the story reading as shallow; this one had depth too. Caramel and Hamlet were both such interesting characters, and I loved that the story was just the beginning of their relationship. When the story ended, I found myself thinking about what was to come for these two kinds in the neighborhood- it’s always great to leave your reader thinking beyond what you put on the page. I loved the concept of them making their neighborhood their playground, and interacting with adults in what they thought was a mature way- Caramel especially. The biggest critique I had was with the reveal. Because Caramel was so precocious, I think that it should have ended with her imagining something crazy and exciting, not discovering that it was something as mundane as pesticides making the animals sick. I loved the imaginative quality of this story, so I think you should be extra creative with the solving of the mystery!
PEER REVIEW WINNER
Ellen’s review of It’s a Mystery
I thought that this was the best peer review based on the mix of positive reinforcements and specific suggestions for improvement. The criticism was totally constructive, and instead of just giving vague statements, each piece alluded to certain parts of the script. Additionally, there was so much encouragement and praise for both the writer and the story, that it never felt overly critical or negative. This is a perfect way to let someone know that they have done a great job, but there is always room for improvement!
