Drawing on classic stories told around the world, from Romania to South Korea, the winners and finalists of our Fairytales & Myths Competition wowed Guest Judge Giselle Vriesen with their magical writing. Read on to discover all the pieces, along with her glowing commentary!
WINNER:
‘The river hears no cries’ by CharmaineT (Singapore)
Read CharmaineT’s winning entry, or log in/sign up to read the piece on our site (for writers aged 13-19).
What an intense story. I really love the format here. It also has great pacing and a palpable build of emotion.
The tonal shifts between the fighting and the fairytale were perfectly placed to be both very funny and increasingly sad as the story went on. It doesn't get much better than being able to make a reader feel two opposing emotions in one piece. Understanding how to do this while also building out a narrative like you have shows a fantastic grip on storytelling, as well as skill in the most important part of writing: bringing out other people's feelings.
I have very few pressing notes, but if you wanted to take this story further, I would suggest reading through to make sure you're always writing in a consistent tense (past for the italicized myth, present for the girl's life). I'd also suggest explaining more about the daughter's emotional state/perspective in the first half. Personally, I might also want a hint as to why the girl doesn't understand her mother's perspective even as she's reading a book that details how unfair the situation is. Overall, I think this story has a lot of potential if you want to work on it more, and it is fantastic work! Keep it up.
RUNNER-UP:
'Of Love' by LiyaChen (Macao)
Read LiyaChen’s entry, or log in/sign up to read the piece on our site (for writers aged 13-19).
Wow, a brilliant story. This was easy to read and it made me feel good to read it. I think that’s all you can really ask for in a piece of writing. I had a great time following this fairytale-esque, almost mythological origin story from beginning to end, and I appreciated the way it started in a grounded way before taking me elsewhere and then returning again.
Strong areas in this piece are its overall clarity, the cheeky/unique voice from the narrator, and the good sense of pacing which sped up or slowed down at the right moments, keeping my attention hooked on the tale. I really liked the message of this story, and that this writing showcased a strong grasp of writing flow. Some of the middle could probably have been edited down a bit. Essentiality of words is important to keep in mind – but I didn’t mind the wordiness too much.
Truly, great job.
BEST PEER REVIEW:
'Leo: the Reason We Feel Grief,' reviewed by Ximena (US)
Log in/sign up to see the winning peer review on our site (for writers aged 13-19).
What I really like about this feedback is that it’s half encouragement and half questions. At this stage of the writing process you don’t want an editor/beta reader that’s going to only nitpick every single spelling or grammar error. You need someone who is going to ask you the right questions that allow you to build out the story you dreamed of, while encouraging you to keep going.
With this level of constructive feedback, with some suggestions on word usage and commas peppered in, you’ve got the recipe a beginning writer needs to continue and thrive on their writing journey!
PIECE FINALISTS:
‘The Coyote Who Talked to the Moon’ by Aberdeen (US)
Such a nice myth retelling with an ironic ending. I really like how true to life this feels, and I enjoyed that you highlighted how sometimes only an outside perspective can find the beauty in ourselves that we don’t see when we feel alone.
If you were to edit this any further, I might make the two narrator voices sound more different from each other. Also, maybe a little run-through for consistency: in one line there’s a coyote and then in another there’s a wolf, and the sun is sometimes a sister, sometimes a brother. It could be interesting to explain the gender fluidity of the sun if that was the intention?
In any case, this is a great start and shows a good grasp of storytelling/story structure.
‘Autumn wins you best’ by Eurydikē (Ireland)
I think this story perfectly subverts and aligns with the classic fairytale structure. It also has a good sense of pacing, and I really loved some of the sensory details you put in, my favourite line being: “you would have to smell faintly of smoke.” Also enjoyable were the callbacks to the more grim elements of the Grimm Fairytales and the fact that the main character seemed to be aware she was in a fairytale.
If you were to edit this further, I’d perhaps ask: if this main character is aware of the fairytale structure, how could she forget to invite the witch, and why is she not being more proactive in avoiding the pitfalls of the genre?
‘Waiting for the sky to split open’ by Stefania Marta (Romania)
I loved the connection to Romanian culture you offered in this piece and the message-led storytelling. It was a beautiful way to weave together fairytale with more modern-day perspectives. Fantastic social commentary as well.
If I had any notes, it might be to increase the tonal difference in the story when the girl is retelling what her grandfather said to her versus when she’s talking directly to the reader, so that we have a deeper feeling of being pulled backwards in time. To do this, you might add some internal dialogue/commentary of what the girl thinks about her grandfather’s story as it draws out. Overall, this is a strong piece of writing.
‘The Tales of Mermaids [Haenyeo]’ by Heejae Kim (Olivie) (South Korea)
The historical aspect of this story is absolutely incredible, and I loved the comparison to the "classic" concept of mermaids against the reality of the Haenyeo. Also notable were the very well-chosen descriptive words that served to make the story so immersive, and its beautiful succinct beginning and ending.
My main note might be to have a clearer sense of a narrative arc that carries us from one point to the next; some sections of this were confusing in how they transitioned. Overall, this story has room to grow, fantastic source material, and showcases the ideal concept when weaving together fairytale with the everyday. Beautiful work.
PEER REVIEW FINALISTS:
‘Sad tale of the sun,’ reviewed by C. Betty (US)
‘Born of Passion and Fire…,’ reviewed by Winter Ledesma (US)
